parents

Question:

>I wonder if any body else has this problem where the parents get involved >with the wedding plans everything from colors of wedding to getting >engagement pictures. I wonder if any body has advise for someone who is >about to go insane. >Thank you, >Tracey

      I haven’t run into that problem yet, tracey…what I have run into is my Catholic mom     not wanting to even come to my wedding unless it’s performed by a Catholic priest     despite the fact that my fiance and I are eclectic.  She hates the idea of a non-denominational, God-inclusive ceremony.  *sigh*       Susan

Response:

>*looking around the virtual newgroup chat room, sees a mass of hands >held up to signify "me too"* >I think this might be like asking "Is any other bride thinking of >wearing a white dress?" >You’re in fine company.

      *grin!*  I don’t want to wear white, makes me look washed out!  But that’s another insanity story!        Susan

Response:

> I wonder if any body else has this problem where the parents get involved > with the wedding plans everything from colors of wedding to getting > engagement pictures. I wonder if any body has advise for someone who is > about to go insane. > Thank you, > Tracey

I would start by just telling your parents that you know they want to help, but that you and your fiance want to plan this together and have this be the beginning of your lives together.  Tell them that you will ask them for advice on things if you need it, but this is your wedding, and you want to plan it the way you want it.  I had a roommate that got married a month ago,, and her mother was trying to plan the wedding she never had for her daughter.  It was driving my roommate insane (and me because I was planning my wedding at the same time by myself).  She wouldn’t speak up.  She did on some things and was much happier in the end.  Just speak up and tell them how you feel.

Response:

> I wonder if any body else has this problem where the parents get involved > with the wedding plans everything from colors of wedding to getting > engagement pictures. I wonder if any body has advise for someone who is > about to go insane.

My best friend is getting married and going through this too. She finally gave each parent (except for her dad who thought his part was done when he got measured for a tuxedo! a particular job. Her future MIL is in charge of finding a baker, her future FIL is in charge of finding a reception site, her mother is in charge of finding a band and caterer. It has worked out really well so far. The only problem she has now is a sister in law who calls her 3 times a week to complain about the bridesmaid dress she is expected to wear. The dress is gorgeous and is basically a suit with a velvet jacket-top and a satiny knee length skirt, so I don’t know what her problem is. Rebecca

Response:

*looking around the virtual newgroup chat room, sees a mass of hands held up to signify "me too"* I think this might be like asking "Is any other bride thinking of wearing a white dress?" You’re in fine company. Look into getting "The Bride’s Emotional Survival Guide" (or maybe it’s called "The Engaged Woman’s Guide to Emotional Survival" –something along those lines).  May help keep you sane.

Response:

Tracey, I was engaged last September and my wedding is October 4, 1997. I’m assuming that your parents are pushing you into doing things their way, which is not quite the way you’d like to do them. At first my vision and my parents’ vision were totally different. It was really frustrating, so I can understand what you are going through. I found a book called "Weddings for Grown-ups – Everything You Need to Know to Plan Your Wedding Your Way" (by Carroll Stoner) that really helped me. It talks about how today, older brides want their weddings to reflect who they are, rather than who their parents are. I gave it to my mom to read and she passed on the information on to my father. When we started wedding planning my father referred to the wedding as "our wedding" which meant his, my mother’s and mine! Now things are better. Also as time passes in the planning and preparation process, you realize that there are a few things that are really important to your parents, that really don’t matter that much to you if they are done their way — or this is what I’ve found anyway. Are your parents paying for everything? That also really affects things. Take a small break away from wedding planning (a weekend off), decide on a few things that are really important to you to have control of and see if you can track down a copy of the book I mentioned. Christy – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > I wonder if any body else has this problem where the parents get involved > with the wedding plans everything from colors of wedding to getting > engagement pictures. I wonder if any body has advise for someone who is > about to go insane. > Thank you, > Tracey

Response:

I wonder if any body else has this problem where the parents get involved with the wedding plans everything from colors of wedding to getting engagement pictures. I wonder if any body has advise for someone who is about to go insane. Thank you, Tracey

Response:

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