catholic wedding
Question:
> Does the groom & bestman & guys get to stand up at altar with priest > waiting for bride & attendants to come down aisle like a traditional > cereony
Our parish and the standard prep book says "no". Your parish may be different. Our way is for the groom to walk in with his parents, or with the bride.
Response:
Check with your church. They may recommend one way over another due to the layout of the church. Some older churches barely fit 2 abreast in the aisle. As long as there are no physical constraints, go with what suits you best! For us, only the groom and the best man are standing at the altar. The rest of the bridal party will be walking down in twos. Patrick!
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Does the groom & bestman & guys get to stand up at altar with priest waiting for bride & attendants to come down aisle like a traditional cereony Sharon
Response:
I was married under those circumstances 20 years ago. The Priest seemed to accept the fact that we were living together because he understood that things are different in morder times and 2 can own or rent cheaper. One other thing that he’ll ask the non-Catholic will be to agree to raise any children you have as Catholic. I had no problem accepting this and I’m glad I did and my child has very good wholesome values as a result of her Catholic upbringing. Before you buy.
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My husband is Lutheran protestant and I’m Catholic. We got married last february in the parrish where my parents belong to. Our particular priest gave much more weight to the mixed-religion union than to the living together part. We had lived together for years, and he said that only proved we knew what we were going into, and then he went over to the responsibilities and so. The Catholic church makes you "promise" that your children will be raised in the catholic faith, which will be the only difference with the papers other couples will have to sign. As our priest put it, the ceremony’s purpose is blessing your union, not judging your past. Confession is a pre-requisite for Catholics, which should be handled as a comfortable chat with your priest. It is much better when you know the priest. As for the group sessions, that’s the information given after Vatican orders. Dull and boring. Maybe a married couple will show up and tell you about their ups and downs and how their faith pulled them through. Smile and endure it, it’s only one day. But most of all, don’t trouble yourself thinking on wheather you should lie or not. * Sent from AltaVista http://www.altavista.com Where you can also find related Web Pages, Images, Audios, Videos, News, and Shopping. Smart is Beautiful
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What sort of things will the priest ask us when we go in for a pre-wedding conference? My fiance is not catholic, so that will be the first issue…..but I have heard friends say that they ask you if you’ve had pre-marital sex, do you live together, etc. (the answer to both is yes!) It probably depends on individual preists, but I’d like a guideline so i know what to expect when i go in there. * Sent from AltaVista http://www.altavista.com Where you can also find related Web Pages, Images, Audios, Videos, News, and Shopping. Smart is Beautiful
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Well, the Catholic church frowns upon both pre-marital sex and living together before marriage. It will depend on the priest, but there are some priests out there that will not marry you if you live together. When my fiance and I went to our interview with the priest, he asked us if we lived together (which we do not). He then told us that if the couple he is talking to is living together he asks that they live separately before the wedding day. He never brought up the subject of pre-marital sex. As far as the rest of the interview went, he basically wanted to make sure that the two of us knew each other and that we understood the committment we would be making to one another by receiving the sacrement of marriage. Paula to Vince 8/5/00 >What sort of things will the priest ask us when we go in >for a pre-wedding conference? My fiance is not catholic, >so that will be the first issue…..but I have heard >friends say that they ask you if you’ve had pre-marital >sex, do you live together, etc. (the answer to both is >yes!) It probably depends on individual preists, but I’d >like a guideline so i know what to expect when i go in >there. >* Sent from AltaVista http://www.altavista.com Where you can also find
related Web Pages, Images, Audios, Videos, News, and Shopping. Smart is Beautiful
Response:
>>What sort of things will the priest ask us when we go in
for a pre-wedding conference? My fiance is not catholic, so that will be the first issue…..but I have heard friends say that they ask you if you’ve had pre-marital sex, do you live together, etc. (the answer to both is yes!) It probably depends on individual preists, but I’d like a guideline so i know what to expect when i go in there.<< Hi, I can’t tell you for sure (and I’d be interested in reading a definite response to this, since we’re going to speak with our priest in a couple of days 
) … However, from what I’ve gathered from talking to other priests (who may or may not know of our current ‘arrangement’), the main point of this initial meeting is to find out if you’re both going into this union freely and willingly. I simply can’t imagine them asking such personal questions as pertaining to your sex life, but I suppose there are busybodies in the priesthood as there are anyplace else None of my recently married friends have had problems in this area, so I really don’t think you have anything to worry about. And that includes your fiance being non-Catholic. If all else fails, I can answer your question very specifically next week at this time Mary to Phil 6/23/2001
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>What sort of things will the priest ask us when we go in >for a pre-wedding conference? My fiance is not catholic, >so that will be the first issue…..but I have heard >friends say that they ask you if you’ve had pre-marital >sex, do you live together, etc. (the answer to both is >yes!) It probably depends on individual preists, but I’d >like a guideline so i know what to expect when i go in >there.
It’s been well over a year since I did all that, and since we ended up talking to two priests (the first announced that he was leaving the parish on the day we talked to him), my memories are rather scrambled. Anyway, I’ll try to answer. I don’t recall either asking if we lived together. (That might just be because I forgot.) However, they did ask for our addresses, so they’ll certainly notice if you’re living together. At least one asked how long we’d known each other, and how our families felt about the engagement. If you’re worried about living together and premaritial sex, be aware that many Catholic couples do both those things, so it’s not like the priest is going to keel over dead with shock if you say you’re living together. At our engaged encounter, close to half the couples were living together, and quite a few spent the nights together. Kris
Response:
Thanks Vincent, that helped me…….I have another question though–this may sound bad, but should I really even bother telling him that we live together at the conference? And if i do, for how long do they ask you to live apart? thanks. * Sent from AltaVista http://www.altavista.com Where you can also find related Web Pages, Images, Audios, Videos, News, and Shopping. Smart is Beautiful
Response:
>What sort of things will the priest ask us when we go in >for a pre-wedding conference? My fiance is not catholic, >so that will be the first issue…..but I have heard >friends say that they ask you if you’ve had pre-marital >sex, do you live together, etc. (the answer to both is >yes!) It probably depends on individual preists, but I’d >like a guideline so i know what to expect when i go in >there.
Well the first visit with the priest, we had to talk about baptisms, confirmation, etc. He then lectured us about living together, and that it can understadable for financial reasons. On subsequent visits, you have to fill out a questionnaire (kind of neat) and then you go over it with the priest. The worst part was that MOST of the first visit Father talked about "natural family planning" and we were given bookelts that explained sex in a 2nd grade manner. I found it somewhat insulting. But it is a good experience in getting to know your partner. JEN & PAUL June 3, 2000 ~~~ No, I haven’t ordered bridesmaid dresses yet!~~
Response:
I do know of people who have lied to the priest about there living situation. Your only problem with this is that both of you need to give your home address. If you both give the same address, he’s going to know. Whether or not you tell the priest you are living together is up to you. Every priest is different and therefore every priest will have a different reaction. There are quite a few (at least in Massachusetts) old-school priests that will not marry you if you are living together. In fact, this just happened to a co-worker of mine and she is now getting married by a JP. There are also some priests out there that are old-school, but if you are a member of the parish, attend church regularly, have a parent who is involved in the parish, or attended the parish’s parochial school, they will overlook your living situation. As far as asking you to live apart goes, I have no idea how long you would be asked to live apart. The first time I ever heard of this was when my fiance and I had our interview with the priest. I was actually quite surprised when he told us that this is what he asks of couples who are living together. But you have to keep in mind that the priest we interviewed with is more modern than most. Just because this is what he asks of couples who are living together doesn’t mean that the priest at the parish just down the street is going to deal with this issue the same way. Basically, if you know the priest you are meeting with, you should know what to expect. Paula to Vince (8/5/00) >Thanks Vincent, that helped me…….I have another >question though–this may sound bad, but should I really >even bother telling him that we live together at the >conference? And if i do, for how long do they ask you to >live apart? thanks. >* Sent from AltaVista http://www.altavista.com Where you can also find
related Web Pages, Images, Audios, Videos, News, and Shopping. Smart is Beautiful
Response:
>>I do know of people who have lied to the priest about there living
situation. << Wow. If one is going to lie to a *priest* about things going into one’s wedding, I’d have to question why one really wants to get married in the church to begin with. <shrug> Mary to Phil 6/23/2001
Response:
I would have to agree with you here. I am not Catholic, but I would think that lying to your priest shows very little respect for your religion. <big shrug> – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Wow. > If one is going to lie to a *priest* about things going into one’s wedding, I’d > have to question why one really wants to get married in the church to begin > with. <shrug> > Mary > to Phil 6/23/2001
Response:
> Thanks Vincent, that helped me…….I have another > question though–this may sound bad, but should I really > even bother telling him that we live together at the > conference?
I’d suggest waiting til you’re asked. I’d avoid lying if at all possible. That said, I do know one couple who LT’d who had a really hard time – they’ve been to two churches (one was the bride’s childhood parish) and the priests declined to marry them because they LT’d. However, her parish priest (she lived in another city where they went to the pre-marriage counseling but were not going to marry there do to distance to family) suggested another priest, and further suggested that they just avoid telling him they LT’d. I don’t advocate lying about it if asked directly. You do have to fill out your address on a form though, so you either lie there, or they know. If the priest wants to make an issue out of it, he’ll ask anyway. Not all do. Many accept it – they may ask some other questions about your relationship though. > And if i do, for how long do they ask you to > live apart? thanks.
Whether or not this even happens depends on the priest. I know plenty of RC couples who LT’d and married in the church w/o a problem. However, I do know of a one (from the ng) who was told they had to live apart. To be honest, if that was the case I’d find another priest. It’s just not practical for many people to move for a short period. If it is practical for you, then consider it. C. * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
> my child has very good wholesome values as > a result of her Catholic upbringing.
I suspect your child has good wholesome values because you raised her that way, but if you want to give credit to the Church for your raising of your child, that’s fine by me. Karen — Karen Simmons, Photographer Atlanta, Georgia
Response:
> I am Catholic and am having a Catholic wedding. Depending on the priest, > sleeves I don’t think should be an issue. Here is how I look at it, is he > going to send you home if you show up sleeveless? I highly doubt it.
OTOH will you really be comfortable going into a church for a religious ceremony in a strapless dress more suitable for a night club? Church isn’t exactly a milieu for "letting it all hang out". gloria p
Response:
> As far as I know, if you get married in the Catholic church, you must make a > promise to raise your children in the church. (Catholics correct me if I’m > wrong.)
The Catholic member of the couple promises to make every effort to raise the children Catholic. > Now, not to get too personal, but have you and your future husband > discussed the issue of religion? It seems as if you have very specific > ideas on religion, and Catholicism. I do hope you two have discussed these > issues, because it can be an important issue.
I can’t imagine marrying someone whose religious, moral, or political beliefs you strongly disdain. That’s a blueprint for disaster. gloria p
Response:
Just because a dress is strapless does not mean it is trashy. My dress is strapless and in very good style and taste. Nothing is "handing out" — Kim < June 30th 2001 >
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I am Catholic and am having a Catholic wedding. Depending on the priest, > sleeves I don’t think should be an issue. Here is how I look at it, is he > going to send you home if you show up sleeveless? I highly doubt it. > OTOH will you really be comfortable going into a church for a religious > ceremony in a strapless dress more suitable for a night club? Church > isn’t exactly a milieu for "letting it all hang out". > gloria p
Response:
I have to agree. My fiance is Catholic and I am not. We are not getting married in a Catholic church, but the officiant is a Catholic minister… however, he will not be preforming a full Catholic ceremony. For me to get married in a Catholic church, whose religion and views I do not follow, seems really disrespectful to me and I said I would not do that to the Catholic faith. Just because I do not believe their views does not give me a right to come into their church and disrespect them. — Kim < June 30th 2001 >
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->oh no!! 6 months? i heard you can take a day crash course!!! i don’t >think i can do 6 months!! I have such strong views on religion and >especially catholics and they aren’t nice!!!! > Ok, I’m going out on a limb and asking you if you do feel this way, why are you > getting married in the Catholic Church… Seems like a mockery to me… If you > have no intention of listening to anything that is said in Pre Cana, then you > have to think seriously if you really should be getting married in the > Church… Seems as if it would be better for you if you would find another > place to have your ceremony… > I know when my parents were married, the priest did ask him what religion the > children would be raised in.. He said Catholic, obviously… I think you really > need to do some serious thinking on this subject and not just get married in > you fiance’s church to please him and his family… I wonder how you will be > able to last through the interview with the priest… The do ask some very > pointed questions during the interview.. > My daughter and her husband only went for a one day session but it differs from > parish to parish… > I don’t mean to be harsh but since you have such a strong dislike to Catholics > as a whole, you might be better off not putting yourself and your fiance > through the ordeal of a Catholic wedding and everything that goes with it… > Weddings are a serious step in the Catholic Church and are supposed to last > forever…
Response:
> My future husband wants to have a Catholic church wedding.. i don’t. I am > not catholic. Since it is very important to him I will do it. Can anybody > advise me on etiquette? I know we have to go to a pre-cana (spelling?) > thing.. but is there a rule to the dress i can wear? sleeveless? sleeves? > Do i have to have a mass? I’d rather not. > sigh > help? advice?
Most of your questions will be answered during your meetings and classes; hopefully, your leader or priest will be one of the very helpful, welcoming, friendly types. If your fiance has been a member of the parish for a while, it makes it more likely that he knows which celebrant, etc., is his favorite. Dress, deocrations, etc., are all fuzzy enough that they’re broken down by diocese or parish, so the priest/leader/teacher will have to give you the lowdown on that. As for the Mass, usually only a prayer service without communion would be done for a non-catholic spouse, so it looks like you get that wish :^) My fiance was raised Lutheran, and he doesn’t want a Catholic ceremony, but I know it’ll be important to me and my family, so we will try to find someplace we can go to Mass earlier in the day even if it is separate from the wedding ceremony itself.
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> I have such strong views on religion and >especially catholics and they aren’t nice!!!!
Then you shouldn’t be marrying a Catholic. Another person headed straight for divorce court…. Ron Ng Knows!
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>If you aren’t >going to abide by the faith, then find someplace else to have the wedding..
Don’t get married at all. Ron Ng Knows!
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Let me give you some context. I was raised Lutheran, my uncle a minister. My wife raise Catholic. We were married in a Catholic church, my uncle participated, he said the vows, and his name is on the marriage license. This was 25 years ago. Lutherans have always viewed themselves as a reforming branch of the Catholic church; their creed says so. Catholics have admitted that Martin Luther had a lot of good things to say. > thank you for the input.. wow.. the priest made him promise to raise the > children catholic? i don’t think i can do that.. the future kids can go to > church but will not be forced into a religion.
Of course they will. Every Sunday morning you are going to have to say "yo, wake up, and get dressed. we’re going to church". You don’t force them and they’ll adopt the "Church of the Animated Cartoon". They get to decide what church they will be confirmed in, not the one they grow up in. Now, which church, you will need to decide. You can slide on this issue up to when your children are about 5 – then there is no getting around it. It will rip your marriage apart. Better you resolve it now, even if you put things off for a while and grow up a bit. > we haven’t spoken to the priest at his church yet. we are going to > seriously start planning our wedding at the end of April. We are getting
It has always seemed to me that given a population of any 3 priests, one is a real nice person, one is neutral, and the third is a real hard-shell nutcase. The trick is finding the right one. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> officially engaged in Italy in 3 weeks.. > i wonder how i can be civil in pre-cana? > (yeah.. it is that bad/hard for me). > If i had it my way, we ‘d be married in Vegas > thanks for the info though!! > -lee > — > You know what the problem with a lot of people is? Overpopulation. > I am Catholic and am having a Catholic wedding. Depending on the priest, > sleeves I don’t think should be an issue. Here is how I look at it, is he > going to send you home if you show up sleeveless? I highly doubt it. > A mass is not necessary. I am not having one. You may consider a > candlelighting ceremony. They are very nice. Has he spoke to you in > regards to the religion you want to raise your children? The priest may > make you promise to raise them catholic. My sister married a non-catholic > and that was one of the promises my brother in law had to make. > Other than that, I really don’t think you have much to worry about. > Pre-cana is really not that bad, I was told to take it with a grain of > salt, > you will get through it. > Good luck, don’t stress out about it. > > help! > > My future husband wants to have a Catholic church wedding.. i don’t. > I > am > > not catholic. Since it is very important to him I will do it. Can > anybody > > advise me on etiquette? I know we have to go to a pre-cana (spelling?) > > thing.. but is there a rule to the dress i can wear? sleeveless? sleeve > s? > > Do i have to have a mass? I’d rather not. > > sigh > > help? advice? > > -lee > > — > > You know what the problem with a lot of people is? Overpopulation.
– Neal Rhodes MNOP Ltd (770)- 972-5430 President Lilburn (atlanta) GA 30247 Fax: 978-4741 http://www.mnopltd.com/
Response:
>Hi Lee. >I had exactly the same problem as you. >I am in no way criticising the Catholic church, but I found it all very >strange.My wife had mainly been pressurised into the Catholic Church by her >Father, and over the years, with absolutely no pressure from me, she began >to turn away from it. >The only problem I encountered was the coldness of the Priest. Obviously he >had never married, nor had children, >which seemed to leave him with little obvious compassion, and love.Probably >they are not all the same. >I am afraid that if you love your fianc
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