Bridal dress annoyances (long)
Question:
> Then the invite to the baby shower arrrived. > Then the invite to the Christening. > After being snubbed by her, for not coughing up an exspensive chritening gift, > I never heard from her again. > The Icing on the cake was, after not hearing from her for a decade, she showed > up at my Mother’s funeral, and acted like she was my best friend!
Reading between the lines I thought something like this might have happened. It’s sad when someone sees the people she associates with as being there for their sole benefit and it would appear that she thought the world revolved around her. It’s even worse when someone decides to break up a friendship because they haven’t received an expensive gift. Ultimately these people often end up being very lonely because they tend to take more than they give and people wise up to them.
Response:
> Well the Bride claiming the first shoe fit her and looked great, and could not > understand why we are all so unhappy with her CHOICE. When she saw all 12 of > us walking around the shoe store in the ill-fitting shoes, she then argreed to > LOOK at the other shoe. We then all tried on the second shoe, which all the > bridesmaids agreed to purchase, to the tears of the bride, we were ruining her > day!.
Goodness me, what was stopping the bride from having different shoes from the rest of you, and for that matter why couldn’t you all have shoes you were comfortable with. 12 bridesmaids makes her sound like bridezilla of the year. By the way, do you still talk???
Response:
I can’t imagine making all of my bridesmaids wear the same shoes. I let them wear what they wanted. They have to be comfortable!!
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Gee, I know how annoying looking for dresses can be. > But just wait till you have to find the SHOES! > I will admit to being a rebel bridesmaid once upon a time. > Now this was years ago, and the Bride was determined that we wear the shoes all > night, she did not want any pictures of bridesmaids in stocking feet. > The Bride picked out a cute shoe from one of those chain stores, small problem, > after size 8, they then limited the size range to full size only in medium > width. Unfortunately I was unable to fine the correct size, nor be able to > subsitute one of the other sizes, I would not be able to wear that shoe. > I then checked a couple of the other stores inthe mall, and found a very > similar shoe, from a better shoe store, yes it cost about $20.00 more, but very > comfy and in my correct size. > I then Informed the bride of the situation and asked her advice, she then had a > hissy fit, and sent another bridesmaid (who had yet to buy her shoes) to take > me back to the original store and to force me into buying the original shoe. > Well to the other bridesmaid suprise she could not get her foot in the original > shoe either! Off to the second more exspensive shoe shop. The other > bridesmaid tried on the second shoe that I had found and they had a size that > fit her perfectly also > Since this was before the day cell phones, loaded with quarters we tookover a > couple of pay phones, rounded up the rest of the bridesmaids, (a couple of > others had refrained from buying the shoes hoping that someone else would say > something about the poor fit) and had the Bride meet us at that mall. > Well the Bride claiming the first shoe fit her and looked great, and could not > understand why we are all so unhappy with her CHOICE. When she saw all 12 of > us walking around the shoe store in the ill-fitting shoes, she then argreed to > LOOK at the other shoe. We then all tried on the second shoe, which all the > bridesmaids agreed to purchase, to the tears of the bride, we were ruining her > day!. > Heck we had already bought $250.00 dresses, and this was in 1982! > We told her either we bought the better fitting shoe or she would have lots of > barefoot bridesmaid photos. > The bride lost the battle. > I ended up redying the shoes black and have worn them several times since then.
Response:
> I can’t imagine making all of my bridesmaids wear the same shoes. I let them > wear what they wanted. They have to be comfortable!!
There’s nothing more important than being comfortable in what you are wearing. It’s a long day. I bought one pair of shoes and then discovered they were really uncomfortable when I was doing the dress fittings so had to walk the beat to find another pair of shoes. I couldn’t believe how difficult it was to find a pair of low heeled, white, comfortable shoes this season though. They were really few and far between.
Response:
My daughter decided to go to the hosiery department and buy ballet slippers… Her husband isn’t too much taller than she is so she needed shoes with a very small heel… She said that she was the most comfortable of anyone there… She also told her bridesmaids to wear whatever black shoes they had that were comfortable, since the dresses were eggplant and long so as long as they were black the rest didn’t matter…
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Well the Bride claiming the first shoe fit her and looked great, and could >not > understand why we are all so unhappy with her CHOICE. When she saw all 12 >of > us walking around the shoe store in the ill-fitting shoes, she then >argreed to > LOOK at the other shoe. We then all tried on the second shoe, which all >the > bridesmaids agreed to purchase, to the tears of the bride, we were ruining >her > day!. >Goodness me, what was stopping the bride from having different shoes from >the rest of you, and for that matter why couldn’t you all have shoes you >were comfortable with. 12 bridesmaids makes her sound like bridezilla of >the year. By the way, do you still talk???
At the time I thought it was a great honor to be part of the wedding since the Bride and I had been friends through high school and college. When she announced her engagment, she made special efforts to ask each girl to be part of her wedding. Unfortunatley, this Bride was one of "Those Girls" that shortly after her wedding became pregnant. and sort of dropped all her single female friends. I heard from her a few times, the first time was to be informed that "I owed her $100.00 for the formal wedding pictures.". Gee, I don’t ever remember seeing the proofs or ordering any? Then I saw her at her Grandmother’s Wake. Then the invite to the baby shower arrrived. Then the invite to the Christening. After being snubbed by her, for not coughing up an exspensive chritening gift, I never heard from her again. The Icing on the cake was, after not hearing from her for a decade, she showed up at my Mother’s funeral, and acted like she was my best friend!
Response:
> When she saw all 12 of us > already bought $250.00 dresses, and this was in 1982!
Must have been one expensive wedding !!!!
Response:
> The Bride picked out a cute shoe from one of those chain stores, small problem, > after size 8, they then limited the size range to full size only in medium > width. Unfortunately I was unable to fine the correct size, nor be able to > subsitute one of the other sizes, I would not be able to wear that shoe.
I had a similar problem with shoes. In this case, the bride bought the shoes for us based on the sizes given. We weren’t given the shoes until the day of the wedding when I discovered that the sizing ran small and she hadn’t been able to get a wide width. I walked in them as much as I could, but they were killing me before the ceremony was over. I ended up with aching feet for a week from these shoes. It really wasn’t the bride’s fault, but better planning could help avoid this type of situation. Jennifer
Response:
All of my attendants live out of state, and I am letting them wear whatever shoes they would like – I’m not particular on this matter. Some are short and feel comfortable in taller heels whereas myself, I’m tall and I don’t want more than a 2" heel. We’re also fortunate that 2 of the 3 attendants live near a David’s and can go get shoes that fir them, and either get them dyed there, or they can send them to me and I’ll get them dyed here with the dresses here. 
I know *I* am a hard fit, sometimes I wear a 10W, sometimes an 11M, and it varies based on the shoe maker most of the time, and sometimes the style of shoe. I wouldn’t expect them to not try on a pair of shoes they’ll have to wear for a while. I’d also want them to "scuff" them up before the wedding so they don’t fall, or what not. L. 5.18.02 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> The Bride picked out a cute shoe from one of those chain stores, small > problem, > after size 8, they then limited the size range to full size only in medium > width. Unfortunately I was unable to fine the correct size, nor be able to > subsitute one of the other sizes, I would not be able to wear that shoe. > I had a similar problem with shoes. In this case, the bride > bought the shoes for us based on the sizes given. We > weren’t given the shoes until the day of the wedding when I > discovered that the sizing ran small and she hadn’t been > able to get a wide width. I walked in them as much as I > could, but they were killing me before the ceremony was > over. I ended up with aching feet for a week from these > shoes. > It really wasn’t the bride’s fault, but better planning > could help avoid this type of situation. > Jennifer
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – > Well the Bride claiming the first shoe fit her and looked great, and could not > understand why we are all so unhappy with her CHOICE. When she saw all 12 of > us walking around the shoe store in the ill-fitting shoes, she then argreed to > LOOK at the other shoe. We then all tried on the second shoe, which all the > bridesmaids agreed to purchase, to the tears of the bride, we were ruining her > day!. > Heck we had already bought $250.00 dresses, and this was in 1982! > We told her either we bought the better fitting shoe or she would have lots of > barefoot bridesmaid photos. > The bride lost the battle. > I ended up redying the shoes black and have worn them several times since then.
Good for you! That bride was crazy. Anyone knows it’s a lot easier to be pleasant when you’re feet aren’t hurting. When I was looking for bridal shoes, D-then-Fiance was with me. He bought the shoes he wore to our wedding. I started out with the fancy ladies’ shoes, and he could see that none of the initial batch were comfortable at all. I then tried on one pair which looked like Grandma’s shoes. D-then-F didn’t even look at the shoe; he just said, "Buy those." "Why?" "Because you actually smiled when you put those on." Indeed, they were comfortable for the wedding, and I’ve worn them many times since. — aMAZon "It’s never too late to have a happy childhood."
Response:
Gee, I know how annoying looking for dresses can be. But just wait till you have to find the SHOES! I will admit to being a rebel bridesmaid once upon a time. Now this was years ago, and the Bride was determined that we wear the shoes all night, she did not want any pictures of bridesmaids in stocking feet. The Bride picked out a cute shoe from one of those chain stores, small problem, after size 8, they then limited the size range to full size only in medium width. Unfortunately I was unable to fine the correct size, nor be able to subsitute one of the other sizes, I would not be able to wear that shoe. I then checked a couple of the other stores inthe mall, and found a very similar shoe, from a better shoe store, yes it cost about $20.00 more, but very comfy and in my correct size. I then Informed the bride of the situation and asked her advice, she then had a hissy fit, and sent another bridesmaid (who had yet to buy her shoes) to take me back to the original store and to force me into buying the original shoe. Well to the other bridesmaid suprise she could not get her foot in the original shoe either! Off to the second more exspensive shoe shop. The other bridesmaid tried on the second shoe that I had found and they had a size that fit her perfectly also Since this was before the day cell phones, loaded with quarters we tookover a couple of pay phones, rounded up the rest of the bridesmaids, (a couple of others had refrained from buying the shoes hoping that someone else would say something about the poor fit) and had the Bride meet us at that mall. Well the Bride claiming the first shoe fit her and looked great, and could not understand why we are all so unhappy with her CHOICE. When she saw all 12 of us walking around the shoe store in the ill-fitting shoes, she then argreed to LOOK at the other shoe. We then all tried on the second shoe, which all the bridesmaids agreed to purchase, to the tears of the bride, we were ruining her day!. Heck we had already bought $250.00 dresses, and this was in 1982! We told her either we bought the better fitting shoe or she would have lots of barefoot bridesmaid photos. The bride lost the battle. I ended up redying the shoes black and have worn them several times since then.
Response:
You thought you were going > to get your way, but I won’t let that happen. I should have been MOH so I am > going to make your job as hard as I can". I couldn’t believe it. I had been > friends with the bride 10 years longer than her and we were much closer. I > just don’t get it.
Bridesmaidzilla. You get some like that. They think the wedding is being put on for their benefit only.
Response:
I went through something similar as a MOH. We all went out and picked out a dress that we ALL liked. A couple of days later, one of the BM called the bride and told her "no, I don’t want to wear that dress. It is too cheap. We should find something more expensive." When the bride told her that the rest of us couldn’t afford to get a real expensive dress, she told her that she didn’t like the dress and wouldn’t wear it. We all had to go out again and find a different one to suit this one girl. A few days later the BM that was causing all of the problems called me and said "You thought you were going to get your way, but I won’t let that happen. I should have been MOH so I am going to make your job as hard as I can". I couldn’t believe it. I had been friends with the bride 10 years longer than her and we were much closer. I just don’t get it.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> arg. having been a bride i understand the things u have to do and i don’t want > to create any problems w/my friend who’s getting married, but this whole > bridesmaid dress thing has me a little perturbed. i’m obviously a bridesmaid > in the wedding. after being told that the only stipulation for our dresses is > that they had to be long and black, we all went to david’s bridal together to > look at dresses. the bride-to-be (BTB) had it in her mind that those > seperates (tops and skirts in different styles that u can mix and match) would > be perfect. she said she wanted us to pick out what we wanted, and she also > wanted it to be a dress we would want to wear again. great! so i tried on > one and loved it. well, after spending the whole day trying on other dresses > and going to different places (even tho i said i liked the first place, and so > did the other bridesmaid w/me) she says she’s going to take out her cousin and > have her look at some different places this weekend, and whatever the cousin or > she likes is what we’ll wear. > now i have no problems wearing what a BTB wants me to wear in her wedding. i’m > just perturbed that we were told one thing but now our likes and dislikes don’t > seem to matter. not to mention that what looks good on 1 person doesn’t > necessarily look good on someone else. i don’t know, i guess i’m just feeling > the need to rant. i would have been fine if i hadn’t been lead to believe i > could pick out the dress. > –kel
Response:
>That is sort of annoying. My girls went to RK Bridal in NYC and I’d already >picked out a line of separates that they could choose from. They both ended >up getting the same A-Line skirt (they didn’t have to; they could choose >whatever out of like 6 skirts) and different top. It took an hour from start >to finish. Sorry that you have to go through so much BS.
see u had it going on. thats totally what i thought we would be doing. i mean we were there 20 min. and i was ready to write the check for the dress i liked. can’t wait to see what her and her cousin found for us to wear after the weekend is up. i’ll keep u posted:) –kel
Response:
What I did since all of my attendants are out of state, was I emailed them choices of separates, and two full dresses and all of them chose one of the dresses. Well, one of them said she didn’t care really, whatever I wanted was fine with her. 
I don’t understand why you wouldn’t be able to do the separates as long as they met her "criteria" for dresses… 
L. 5.18.02 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> That is sort of annoying. My girls went to RK Bridal in NYC and I’d already > picked out a line of separates that they could choose from. They both ended > up getting the same A-Line skirt (they didn’t have to; they could choose > whatever out of like 6 skirts) and different top. It took an hour from start > to finish. Sorry that you have to go through so much BS. > see u had it going on. thats totally what i thought we would be doing. i > mean > we were there 20 min. and i was ready to write the check for the dress i > liked. > can’t wait to see what her and her cousin found for us to wear after the > weekend is up. i’ll keep u posted:) > –kel
Response:
> now i have no problems wearing what a BTB wants me to wear in her wedding. i’m > just perturbed that we were told one thing but now our likes and dislikes don’t > seem to matter. not to mention that what looks good on 1 person doesn’t > necessarily look good on someone else. i don’t know, i guess i’m just feeling > the need to rant. i would have been fine if i hadn’t been lead to believe i > could pick out the dress.
That is sort of annoying. My girls went to RK Bridal in NYC and I’d already picked out a line of separates that they could choose from. They both ended up getting the same A-Line skirt (they didn’t have to; they could choose whatever out of like 6 skirts) and different top. It took an hour from start to finish. Sorry that you have to go through so much BS.
Response:
arg. having been a bride i understand the things u have to do and i don’t want to create any problems w/my friend who’s getting married, but this whole bridesmaid dress thing has me a little perturbed. i’m obviously a bridesmaid in the wedding. after being told that the only stipulation for our dresses is that they had to be long and black, we all went to david’s bridal together to look at dresses. the bride-to-be (BTB) had it in her mind that those seperates (tops and skirts in different styles that u can mix and match) would be perfect. she said she wanted us to pick out what we wanted, and she also wanted it to be a dress we would want to wear again. great! so i tried on one and loved it. well, after spending the whole day trying on other dresses and going to different places (even tho i said i liked the first place, and so did the other bridesmaid w/me) she says she’s going to take out her cousin and have her look at some different places this weekend, and whatever the cousin or she likes is what we’ll wear. now i have no problems wearing what a BTB wants me to wear in her wedding. i’m just perturbed that we were told one thing but now our likes and dislikes don’t seem to matter. not to mention that what looks good on 1 person doesn’t necessarily look good on someone else. i don’t know, i guess i’m just feeling the need to rant. i would have been fine if i hadn’t been lead to believe i could pick out the dress. –kel
Response:
Related Posts